SEC’s Hilariously Slow Shuffle: Which Crypto ETF Will Escape First?

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Once upon a time in the gloomy, paper-stuffed offices of the SEC, a mysterious pause button was pressed on Grayscale’s splendid, spellbinding Solana ETF. If you were hoping to see that ETF waltz onto Wall Street this summer, you’ll need to twiddle your thumbs until just about Halloween—but in 2025! 🎃 That’s right, the big cheeses at the SEC are busy peering through their monocles at pages and pages of “applications,” leaving Solana fans shouting, “Oh, honestly!” from their rooftops.

Of course, the SEC loves a good delay more than Augustus Gloop loves chocolate cake. They’ve got a 240-day window to waste, and they’ll stretch it out like an everlasting gobstopper.

Grayscale, meanwhile, is polishing their dreams, hoping the New York Stock Exchange might one day roll out the velvet carpet for their Solana Trust ETF. If this miracle happens, American investors—especially the big ones with deep pockets and even deeper frowns—might actually get a taste of Solana that doesn’t come with a side of legal grey area. 🍨

Now, nobody expects the Solana ETF to make the markets pop and fizz quite like a bottle of Bitcoin soda in January, but there’s whispering among analysts that—given enough time and money—it could still sizzle into billions. Billions! That’s the sort of number that would make even Mr. Wonka turn his head.

Spot ETFs are, you see, giant golden tickets for fat-cat investors who want to play in the crypto factory without sneaking in through the side door. When the Bitcoin ETF cannon fired back in January 2024, the cash flowed in so quickly you could almost hear the ka-ching from Switzerland. By February? Bitcoin was flying over $50,000 like a particularly greedy goose.

If you were hoping for a launch, surprise! It’s another delay. Grab some popcorn. 🍿

— James Seyffart (@JSeyff) May 5, 2025

But Solana isn’t alone in this dreadful waiting game. Oh no, last week the Litecoin ETF got its dreams put on ice by the SEC as well. The regulators are apparently running a queue, and everyone’s ticket says “Please wait.”

June: Crypto’s Very Own Gobstopper of Surprises

Cheer up, Solana dreamers! June is set to be as jam-packed with crypto ETF drama as a Roald Dahl pantry is with peculiar sweets. The SEC will be making decisions quicker than Grandma Josephine can fall asleep at a dinner table.

First up: Grayscale’s Polkadot ETF gets a shot at freedom on June 11. Not to be outdone, 21Shares wants its Polkadot ETF reviewed on June 24. Name a more competitive pair—I’ll wait.

Then comes the double trouble of June 17. Franklin Templeton and Bitwise are both hoping the SEC gods will smile down and approve spot ETFs for XRP and Dogecoin. Will meme-coin fans finally get their day in the sun? Stranger things have happened in chocolate factories.

The Mood: Slightly Annoyed, Mostly Hopeful

Despite the SEC inventing new ways to delay, the mood on Crypto Street is oddly chirpy. Almost everyone—except perhaps those with jaded hearts and empty portfolios—expects Solana will get its shiny ETF badge before we ring in 2026. ⏳

Ryan Lee—the wise Oompa-Loompa of Bitget Research—reckons that even a half-sized Solana ETF could charm enough institutions to open floodgates in the long run. A regulated way to join the Solana parade? That’s a treat too sweet for big money to ignore.

There’s not a green light at the end of this tunnel yet, but the regulatory gears are clanking, and June promises some proper fireworks. In the meantime, keep your chocolate handy and your popcorn popped. The next chapter in this ETF Wonka adventure is just around the corner.

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2025-05-14 15:38