You Won’t Believe What ETH and SOL Might Do Next 🤯

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Brief, like a rationed crust of bread (TL;DR):

  • The valiant ETH, bedraggled and stamped upon, has flung itself upward—behold, numbers such as $2,800 and even $12,000 have been uttered by the soothsayers. Some reckon it echoes the fabled leap of BTC after the pestilence, which, incidentally, did not care for anyone’s feelings either.

  • Meanwhile, SOL, showing the stubbornness of a Siberian pine, managed a 20% weekly ascent. Now, more than 11 million wallets grasp at 0.1+ SOL, like peasants clutching their last potatoes. Apparently, this counts as “rising retail interest”—or maybe everyone just loves collecting nearly-worthless tokens these days. 🥔

ETH and SOL Price Drama

Whither ETH? (A Tale of Little Sleep and Much Coffee)

The exhausted titan, Ethereum, dragged itself from the icy tundra of sub-$2,000 prices, swelling by almost 40% within the week. Traders, like prisoners sniffing the breeze for hope, watched as ETH breached $2,600—a summit unseen since the dying days of February, before reality reminded us it still existed. A brief retracement followed; ETH now shuffles just below $2,500, like a gulag escapee eyeing the fence.

ETH Price Chart – Emotional Rollercoaster Included

The market’s passions, hot as tea brewed three times with the same sad bag, bubbled forth. Pundits on X gesticulated, sweating with conviction. One, known only as CRYPTOWZRD—because numbers and vowels are overrated—promised a magical trek towards $2,800:

“Once Bitcoin regains confidence, Ethereum should see a quick upside move towards $2,800 and beyond.” (Apparently, if Bitcoin ever feels good about itself again, it’ll bring ETH along, like a friend you forgot at the train station.)

Crypto Tony—would that we all had such names—and Reed Carson pontificated as well. Tony proclaimed that a breakout above $2,750 could unleash price levels unseen since last year (which was the good old days, if you ask anyone with a short memory). Carson drew analogies to the grim April days of ETH’s fall below $1,400, likening them to BTC’s own tumble during early COVID, when our greatest hope was new toilet paper in the shops.

Both agreed: fear, panic, and uncertainty rule, and “history repeats”—especially when someone needs an excuse for losing all their money in a flash crash. Reed opined that, much as BTC soared after its collapse, ETH could rally to $10,000, or, if you say it loudly enough, $12,000. (Those numbers are only terrifying if you still have to pay taxes on gains you never realized.)

Another oracle, Michael van de Poppe, suggested “shallow corrections”—like being only gently poked by a bureaucrat. He spies potential in the $2,100–$2,250 band. Speculators, keep watch: the coffee may grow colder, but opportunity festers in the cracks.

“If the markets provide a correction, then I’d be interested in anything between $2,100-2,250 for ETH.” (Translation: He’ll buy the dip, assuming there’s money left after paying heating bills.)

SOL’s Grimy, Glorious Ascendancy

Solana—always the bridesmaid, never the bride—hitched itself to the bullish wagon, gaining a modest 20% in what cynics call “a good week” and optimists call “not immediately disappointing.” Currently, it hovers around $174, the kind of number that makes you wonder why wallet balances now flash four figures of decimals.

SOL Price - Upwards Like Rent Costs

Influencer KALEO—prone to grandiose adjectives—told his throng of 700,000 followers that SOL is “grinding higher.” One imagines endless hours at the crypto mines, chipping away at resistance for a piece of the promised land.

“I still believe this move back from the lows results in a god candle that sends straight to new all-time highs sooner rather than later.” (God candle: for when your hopes and dreams are more likely to be extinguished by a sudden gust of reality.)

Forecasts hover about Solana perhaps lunging to $1,000, a feat so audacious it could only be more surprising if the blockchain actually stayed online for a month straight. Ali Martinez, with the stoicism of a man who’s seen too many testnets, identified $175 as “critical resistance.” More than 11 million wallets now hold at least 0.1 SOL—a statistically significant way to say “a lot of people have a dabble and not much else.”

The implication: a growing crowd of retail dreamers may push prices higher. Or, perhaps, they’re just collecting digital souvenirs on the off-chance their grandchildren ask: “What’s a Solana wallet, Grandpa?”

In the frozen wastes of the market, hope is a stubborn weed. If it can survive here, surely your portfolio can stagger on a little longer too. 😉

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2025-05-13 21:00