So, for those keeping score in the ever-thrilling United States vs. China “Will They, Won’t They” saga, both superpowers have decided to play nice—but only for the length of your average gym membership trial. That’s right: Tariffs are going, going, (for 90 days) gone. Cue the confetti—unless you work in customs, in which case, cue the existential dread.
In their May 12, 2025 act of mutual benevolence (or simply running out of popcorn), America agreed to nudge its tariffs on Chinese imports down from a nosebleed-inducing 145% to a more “modest” 30%. China, not to be outdone in this game of limbo, will slide its rates in the opposite direction—from an eye-watering 125% to a breezy 10%. If only my rent could plummet as quickly.
US-China Slash Tariffs, Bitcoin Reacts Fast
It wasn’t all kumbaya, though. In the months leading up to this handshake, trade tensions got so hot, even the crypto market started to sweat. On April 2, President Trump decided to make tariffs great again, sending Bitcoin into a dramatic spiral below $80,000. (Somebody check on those Bitcoin maximalists—they’re still hyperventilating into paper bags.)
But in a classic tale of financial whiplash, Bitcoin—being the drama queen it is—whipped right back up. Not content with being grounded, the crypto soared 1.4% after the tariff news, reaching heights unseen since January 3. Apparently, nothing says “market confidence” like two countries agreeing not to throw food at each other for three months. 🍜💰
At the time of writing (or whatever masochistic process it is that financial journalists endure), Bitcoin was trading at a totally relatable $105,251. If you’re feeling left out, don’t worry—you can always buy 0.0003 of one and still make Thanksgiving awkward for your cousin, the investment banker. 🚀
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2025-05-12 10:33