Apple’s New Smart Glasses: Are Your Eyes Ready for the iSquint?

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So, in what sounds suspiciously like the plot of a futuristic buddy-cop comedy, Apple is allegedly cooking up its own microchips for basically everything—from smart glasses to artificial intelligence. Because, if there’s one thing Silicon Valley loves, it’s inventing new ways to make you feel like your current gadgets are obsolete.

According to a May 8 Bloomberg report (from “people familiar with the matter”—which is code for someone’s neighbor’s cousin who once used a MacBook), Apple is brewing up new processors for future devices. On the docket? Their first-ever smart glasses, designed to do everything short of leading you on a spiritual journey. You know, just in case you looked at Meta’s Ray-Bans and thought, “Yeah, but with less subtlety and more fruit logo.”

Naturally, Apple’s magical eye-wear will be powered by a chip codenamed N401—which sounds less like a gizmo and more like a New York City alternate side parking rule. Allegedly, it’s like the Apple Watch chip, if the Apple Watch had a few more lattes and decided to become an overachiever. This chip will multitask like it’s trying to win a reality show: it’ll handle multiple cameras, so your glasses can watch you as you watch the world. Finally, someone’s looking at you as much as you look at your phone. 👓

Word on the street is that these smart glasses won’t have augmented reality at first (so you’ll just have to keep hallucinating on your own), but they will come packed with cameras, mics, and enough AI to make your barista nervous. Got Meta glasses envy? Fear not. Apple’s version will let you snap photos, record video, translate languages, and possibly judge your fashion choices. (Hey, if we’re building real artificial intelligence, let’s at least get a little honest feedback.)

Rumor has it we’ll also get some “visual intelligence” features—so your glasses can scan the room, tell you what that weird statue’s supposed to be, and help you find the exit when you’re trapped at awkward parties. Directions, product info, existential advice—why not?

Sounds amazing, right? Well, don’t line up at the Apple Store yet. Mass production isn’t expected until late 2026 or 2027, which means you still have a couple years to get used to the idea that your next selfie might involve you squinting into a pair of very expensive goggles.

Meanwhile, Apple is tossing chips around like a poker player. Bloomberg’s mysterious sources say there are other codename-heavy chips in the works: “Komodo” (M6s), “Borneo” (M7, not to be confused with the rainforest), and the super-secret “Sotra,” which, let’s face it, could double as a trendy Brooklyn brunch spot.

Apple’s All-In on AI (and More Letters and Numbers)

But wait—there’s more. Apple wants you to know it’s not just doing glasses; it’s also working on dedicated AI server chips under the delightful codename “Baltra.” Because, obviously, you can’t have truly meaningful conversations with your smart glasses unless the backend sounds like a Bond villain. Apparently, these Baltra chips will be eight times more powerful than the already beefy M3 Ultra chips. AI so fast, it might realize you regret your last text before you do. 🤖

Project completion is set for 2027, which means Apple Intelligence could be smarter, faster, and maybe even capable of reminding you where you parked your self-driving car.

Oh, and just to keep things spicy, Chinese tech giant Huawei reportedly developed an AI chip that’s giving Nvidia a run for its money. Because nothing says “tech drama” like a global chip-off.

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2025-05-09 08:57