Bitcoin Explodes Past Old Records—Is $500K Next? Larry David Weighs In

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Oh, look at this! Bitcoin—you know, that thing your nephew tried to explain over Thanksgiving until your eyes glazed over—has smashed the “all-time high” for the Realized Cap. Three weeks straight. Three! Look, I can’t even do anything three weeks in a row. I barely floss.

Bitcoin Investors Feeling…Confident? Really?

Apparently, according to some crypto wizardry (CryptoQuant), a bunch of people are back on the Bitcoin train. Long-term holders, short-term holders… everyone’s “regaining confidence.” Yeah, because nothing says confidence like pouring money into a digital coin you lost the password to in 2013. 🙄

Bitcoin Breaks Realized Cap All-Time High for the Third Consecutive Week

“This pattern reflects growing confidence among both Long-Term Holders and Short-Term Holders, who are strengthening their positions as the market shows signs of recovery.” – By @oro_crypto

— CryptoQuant.com (@cryptoquant_com) May 8, 2025

Basically, everyone’s throwing more money into Bitcoin because, why not? The last time people shoved cash into something they didn’t understand, we got the Beanie Babies disaster. But hey, maybe this time it’s different?

If everyone keeps buying, sure, the price goes up. Revolutionary concept! But don’t get too excited—if everybody suddenly gets bored or, I dunno, remembers there’s a world outside Discord, all bets are off.

So yeah, we might be looking at the start of a new “bull” cycle. Or, you know, maybe it’s a hamster running on a wheel. Hard to tell these days.

If this keeps going, Bitcoin might leap past that old record—$109,000. Can you imagine? That’s almost enough to buy a Tesla, or like eight eggs in Los Angeles right now. 🥚🚗

Market Gurus: “Why Not $500,000?”

Right now, Bitcoin is teasing the $100,000 mark. Just $200 shy! (Fun fact: I’ve been $200 shy for most of my adult life.) It’s at $99,836, up 3.03% in the last day—yes, people calculate these things to the decimal, like it makes a difference when you forget your password anyway.

Trading volume is up a wild 60%. 54 billion dollars! There are entire countries with smaller GDPs, but hey, let’s buy more Nintendo coins.

And now, the experts. Max Keiser and the usual suspects are predicting Bitcoin’s next stop: $500,000. Sure, why not? Let’s predict a million while we’re at it. It means nothing, but it sounds impressive, right?

The next few days will tell us if Bitcoin’s going to hit half a million, or if we’re all just sitting around waiting for our crypto wallets to finally remember our faces. Stay tuned. 🍿

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2025-05-08 16:11