You Won’t Believe Who Got Hacked: LockBit’s 60,000 Bitcoin Addresses Exposed! 😱

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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a notorious ransomware syndicate in possession of ill-gotten Bitcoin, must be in want of some misfortune. Imagine, dear reader, the most scandalous among all cyber villains—LockBit—has itself become the subject of a most humiliating crypto swindle! In a transaction more dramatic than anything Lady Catherine could devise, their trove—no fewer than 60,000 addresses associated with the esteemed Bitcoin
BTC
$96 611
—
has been laid bare for the whole of society (and regulators) to gossip over. The digital markets, I am assured by my very best sources, remain as restless as Mrs. Bennet before a ball:

  • 24h volatility: 2.1%
  • Market cap: $1.92 T
  • Vol. 24h: $29.09 B

Indeed, such numbers would make even Mr. Darcy’s estate appear quaint.

LockBit Swallowed its Own Bitter Pill 🍵

For ages, LockBit has conducted itself with the decorum of a highwayman, wielding malicious code as though it were a letter of introduction at a country assembly. Their habit has been to lock away their victims’ treasures—files, systems, reputations—then demand a ransom, usually synonymous with an ungentlemanly sum in untraceable crypto. The age-old dance: “Your data for a fee, if you please.”

Yet oh! How the tables have turned. It appears that in a twist worthy of Miss Austen’s pen, LockBit’s own secrets have been kidnapped and paraded about, like Lydia Bennet with a scandalous letter. Any soul venturing to LockBit’s shadowy online abode is presently greeted by a most improper communiqué: “Don’t do crime CRIME IS BAD xoxo from Prague.” To add insult to injury, a file—most wickedly named “paneldb_dump.zip”—is freely available for the curious (or, dare I say, the nosy) to peruse at their leisure.

So LockBit just got pwned … xD

— Rey (@ReyXBF) May 7, 2025

There is, naturally, much delight among security researchers and those gentlefolk whose virtue lies in blockchain analysis. The data dump offers insights and perhaps even a map to long-lost digital treasures previously spirited away by LockBit’s unscrupulous hands. One cannot help but wonder if the recent international efforts—ten countries dancing a coordinated cotillion against cyber extortionists—did not make LockBit’s steps falter.

Were Any Bitcoin Private Keys Affronted? 🧐

According to an exchange (scandalous gossip, really) between a tweeter of some renown and one who represents LockBit, there is no evidence that Bitcoin’s prized private keys were compromised. Heavens, what a relief for those whose wallets are stuffed like Lady Rosings’ tea caddy.

Yet the plot thickens. Our dear friends at Bleeping Computer report that within the leaked digital diary was a table, most curiously entitled “builds,” listing out the very blueprints of LockBit’s machinations, alongside a “chats” table—containing more than 4,400 messages, all far less genteel than any conversation in a drawing room.

Who orchestrated this social faux-pas, and by what ingenious device, remains as mysterious as the true thoughts of Mr. Darcy. The similarity of the Prague missive to incidents at the Everest ransomware ball suggests, perhaps, an unwholesome kinship among these cyber rogues.

The Season of Crypto Hacks Continues 🎩

And just as the ton begins to recover, another scandal erupts: the TRON DAO’s X account (how very modern, to be sure!) fell victim to a rogue authorized not by matrimony but by malice. A post appeared, as improper as a clergyman’s flirtation, bearing contract addresses and sending DMs with all the subtlety of Lydia on the run.

“TRON DAO will never post contract addresses or send unsolicited DMs. If you received a DM from our account on May 2, please delete it and consider it the work of the attacker,” their representatives declared, no doubt fanning themselves rigorously.

TRON’s founder, the estimable Justin Sun, responded with the swiftness of a gentleman dueling at dawn, entreating crypto exchange OKX to freeze suspect funds—and hopefully, not his own afternoon plans. With one cyber-misadventure after another, all wise persons would do well to keep their wits—and their wallets—about them.

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2025-05-08 15:58