You Won’t Believe What Arizona Wants to Do With Your Lost Bitcoin (It Involves HODLing)

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Arizona Governor Katie Hobbs just signed a shiny new law that says, “Hey, if you ghost us for three years and leave your digital assets just sitting there, we’ll take them off your hands. Don’t worry, we’ll keep them ‘safe.’” (Translation: If you leave your Bitcoin lying around like an abandoned Blockbuster card, Arizona is coming for it. With gloves.) 🧤💸

The official pageant walk announcement happened on May 7 via the governor’s website, because nothing says “crypto revolution” like a .gov press release. The bipartisan House Bill 2749 (yes, even in 2024, bipartisanship is still a thing in Arizona) updates the law about forgotten loot, expanding it to your digital piggy bank—think Bitcoin, not Beanie Babies (sorry millennials).

This masterpiece was brought to you by Chairman Jeff Weninger, who reportedly said, “Digital assets aren’t the future—they’re the present.” Thank you, Jeff, for that time-traveling zinger. Basically, Arizona now has a process for finding unclaimed crypto and… wait for it… a Bitcoin and Digital Assets Reserve Fund, which is like a piggy bank for the state, except it won’t go missing under your kid’s bed.

If you get a text/email/flock of messenger pigeons from your crypto exchange and ignore it for three solid years, your assets are officially labeled “abandoned.” At that point, Arizona will take them in—no questions asked—through the Department of Revenue. Their cunning plan? Qualified custodians can stake your crypto or grab airdrops, with all those juicy rewards going straight into the new fund. 🍯

And here’s something your tax dollars can exhale about: this fund doesn’t use taxpayer money—a rare plot twist. The fund fills up with staking and airdrop gains only, and the state treasurer gets to sit on top of this digital nest egg like a very modern goose, all under the loving gaze of legislative bureaucracy.

Here’s where it gets spicy: Days ago, Hobbs shot down another bill that would’ve let the state invest seized funds directly into Bitcoin. She basically said, “Not with my money, you don’t!” But by focusing on coins left behind by the digital absentminded, HB2749 sidesteps that whole messy debate. Arizona isn’t going to invest taxpayer cash—they’re just adopting your orphaned crypto.

Not to be outdone, New Hampshire has its own version of “Crypto Adoption: The Prequel,” letting the state invest only in cryptocurrencies with market caps over $500 billion. So right now, basically just Bitcoin gets to hang out in the Granite State’s VIP club.

The moral: If you don’t want the state to become your accidental Bitcoin babysitter, maybe don’t forget your password for three years. Or do, and help fund Arizona’s next big legislative pizza party. 🍕🪙

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2025-05-08 07:45