You Won’t Believe What This Texas Company Is Really Shipping: $20 Million in Trump Memecoins? 🚂💸

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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a logistics firm in possession of $20 million, must be in want of a memecoin. Imagine, dear reader, my astonishment at being informed that such a sum would be reserved—not for wheat, not for steel, not even for tea—but for a coin bearing President Trump’s likeness. Indeed, Freight Technologies—known in fashionable circles as Fr8Tech—has condescended to spark society’s curiosity by anchoring its digital asset fancy to the most controversial of trinkets: the Official Trump memecoin.

Mr. Selgas, whose office as Chief Executive Officer must be most laborious, assures us all that this scheme shall invigorate trade betwixt the United States and Mexico. Yet how a memecoin integrates itself into the bustling world of real freight remains a delightful riddle. Meanwhile, the U.S. Office of Government Ethics finds itself, no doubt, quite vexed, musing whether the President’s coin adventures stray from the tidy path of federal rules. The Regency could never have anticipated such troubles, though I suppose even Lady Catherine might have enjoyed an exclusive coin dinner.

What Is Fr8Tech?

Fr8Tech, a proud establishment of Houston since 2015, trades on the NASDAQ with all the dignity of a debutante at her first ball (though with rather less fortune, judging by its 2018 decline). Its use of “artificial intelligence” for supply chain optimization must be quite the drawing room conversation—though whether a memecoin will convey one’s tea and biscuits more speedily, I rather doubt.

Few could miss the tragic tale of the FRGT stock: once diminished during Mr. Trump’s earlier reign, now grasping for digital redemption in the currents of crypto fashion. While lesser firms pursue Bitcoin as their digital darling, here comes Fr8Tech, choosing to waltz with a memecoin—quite the scandal at the ball.

Mario Nawfal, a social critic of modern taste, dubs it the “first-ever” Trump treasury. 🌪️ The ton is abuzz, far more than the coin’s actual price. It is, as some would say, under the radar—and perhaps wishing to remain so, given the exposure of such an audacious bet.

No major headlines yet, but $FRGT’s move to back a treasury with $TRUMP is catching CT’s eye—social buzz around $TRUMP is strong, even while the token’s price action is cooling and trading shows short-term downside risk. $FRGT is still under the radar, with little volume or data…

— Alva (@AlvaApp) April 30, 2025

Costly Gimmick?

Prepare your smelling salts: on April 30th, Fr8Tech declared a “crypto treasury”—a dramatic way of saying they’d spend $20 million (in polite society, a grand sum) for tokens memorializing Mr. Trump. The first $1 million shall be spent at once; the rest, one assumes, will follow with all the urgency of Lydia Bennet at a Brighton ball.

Mr. Selgas, not wishing for subtlety, invoked Mr. Trump’s “America First” sentiment, yet kindly reminds us that “America First does not mean America alone.” The coin, he assures, will bring about just and lively trade—though particulars are absent. Even Mrs. Bennet could offer a more detailed plan for marrying off her daughters.

At the heart of Fr8Tech’s mission is the promotion of productive and active commerce between the United States and Mexico. Mexico is the United States’ top goods trading partner, with Mexico being the leading destination for US exports and the top source for US imports. As US Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent recently stated, “I wish to be clear: America First does not mean America alone. To the contrary, it is a call for deeper collaboration and mutual respect among trade partners.”

In all candour, not even the sharpest mind in Hertfordshire could explain how a Trump memecoin secures trade of any sort, apart from the trade of one’s dignity for publicity. The only thing rising as quickly as this news is the volatility. Such drama! The coin’s price may flutter up by two percent today, but ever since its January debut, it’s performed as reliably as Mr. Collins at a dance—awkwardly and in fits and starts.

Trump Memecoin: A Most Peculiar Selection

Society’s most esteemed firms, BlackRock among them, suggest modest allocations to Bitcoin, favoured as the jewel of digital assets—a grande dame at the crypto ball. According to the records of the Bitcoin Treasuries, over a hundred companies hold Bitcoin (one suspects their governesses approve).

Bitcoin boasts a design as deflationary as Lady Lucas’s compliments—the supply ever shrinking, the value ever dreamy. No wonder so many wish to add it to their treasure chests. Far be it for Fr8Tech to follow—nay, they have opted for Official Trump, whose chief use case is the chance to dine privately with the man himself on May 22. The coin danced upward by more than fifty percent amid the promotional minuet—who would not swan about for such a ticket?

Yet critics, those tiresome Cassandras, chirp that the exclusive access is rather bribe-like.😏 “If one cannot bear the secrecy of Hunter’s art,” quipped Nic Carter, “surely one ought not to love a memecoin bought by mystery benefactors.” True, Mr. Carter, true—though the London season has certainly seen worse.

Something that hasn’t been much discussed – creating a bunch of personal memecoins opens the door to secretive foreign buyers trying to curry influence with our leaders. If you hated hunter biden’s anonymous art sales, you should hate this too.

— nic carter (@nic__carter) January 20, 2025

The Democratic senators—who pity the lack of amusement—request a formal investigation into what they suspect might be a new American hobby: trading tokens for tea with the President. To date, Fr8Tech insists no such intentions—merely commerce, and perhaps a decorative coin purse!

Meanwhile, society’s keenest gamblers flocked to FRGT stock, which soared by 111% in a single day. One hopes no one fainted in the streets of Houston. By Friday’s close, the shares stood at $2.08—a fortune for some, pocket change for others. The memecoin, on the other hand, played it cool and entirely unimpressed by such pageantry.

Bubble Fears? A Familiar Farce

Bubbles, of course, only reveal their nature once they have burst all over Lady Middleton’s best rug. It is nigh impossible to state with confidence whether this new crypto enthusiasm is the harbinger of great fortune, or merely a splendid way to lose one’s inheritance. Seasoned observers see shades of the dot-com follies everywhere.

Worth reminding the only *real* public companies that have adopted bitcoin as a corporate treasury are $TSLA, $COIN and $XYZ

Everybody else sits somewhere on the spectrum between Charles Ponzi and

— Pledditor (@Pledditor) May 2, 2025

Never mind the noise; the tide of Bitcoin-holding companies is still but a puddle, and most are of little repute. Tesla and Strategy were the early dancers; the remaining assemblies have only dipped their toes in for now—no need for anyone to send out the invitations for panic, just yet.

For Fr8Tech, the funds are, at present, only “earmarked”—meaning, one presumes, a great deal of talking but not so much walking. How Mr. Trump and his digital coin shall benefit U.S.-Mexico commerce remains as mysterious as ever. Should romantic misunderstandings and questionable investments both be the rage, I say: pass the punch, let’s watch the next chapter unfold. 🍸💃

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2025-05-03 16:49