The stage is set, darling, and the financial high society of Wall Street is positively giddy. Last year, Bitcoin and Ethereum made their ETF debut with the subtlety of a rhinoceros in a tutu, and now, with the Trump-ets sounding approval and regulation-friendly winds wafting in, it seems all the other coins want their moment in the limelight. XRP, Dogecoin, Solana, and even dowager Litecoin – they’re all practicing their best jazz hands for the SEC’s grand ball. 🕺💃
Picture it: more than 70 ambitious proposals clutter the SEC’s desk, no doubt sending the poor clerks scrambling for extra strong martinis. Amidst this bureaucratic ballet, the ever-dashing Eric Balchunas of Bloomberg swept onto the Token2019 stage in Dubai claiming these ETFs could see the floodlights by summer’s end. The audience swooned; the applications blushed furiously.
As the drama unfolds, Balchunas and the ever-game Seyffart have declared (with the confidence of a gambler holding four aces), that this could be the season of the Altcoin ETF. Yes, dearest, the cryptos are queued up for their close-ups: XRP, LTC, SOL, and that irrepressible jester DOGE, all waiting for their star turn. To think, all this on Wall Street, where most folk consider “blockchain” a rather ghastly new fitness regime.
The tippling tea leaves at Polymarket give XRP a 79% chance of pirouetting onto the stage by New Year’s Eve – though, like any diva, its odds droop to a limp 42% if the curtain call comes by July 31. One imagines XRP draped on a chaise lounge, sighing, “Not before I’ve had my close-up, darling!”
Ripple, never one to be underdressed at a party, has the most applications in circulation. Alas, the poor dear’s only made it with futures-based affairs – no “spot” on the dance card just yet, though the orchestra’s tuning up.
DOGE, that rakish party-crasher of the crypto set, stands a fighting 68% for December and a wallflower-worthy 25% for July. Solana prances close behind: 78% by year’s end, only 30% by mid-summer (one suspects an awkwardness with foxtrots). Litecoin, with all the vivacity of a country squire at three in the morning, matches Solana’s odds.
So, if you fancy a flutter, or merely enjoy the spectacle of digital currencies in bowties, pour yourself a G&T and watch the ETF parade unfold. After all, nothing says “financial innovation” quite like a bunch of coins hoping the SEC doesn’t leave them on read. 🥂📈
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2025-05-02 09:39