Ah, the splendid jest of modern commerce! Coeptis Therapeutics Holdings, Inc. and Z Squared Inc. have conspired, on that fateful day of April 25, 2025, to birth what can only be described as the most gloriously absurd union: the world’s largest publicly traded dogecoin mining colossus. Naturally, Coeptis found it most prudent to part ways with its mundane biopharmaceutical ventures—those dreary matters of cancer and infectious disease—leaving them to their own bleak devices.
The Grand Conspiracy: Coeptis and Z Squared’s Foray into Crypto Aristocracy
In a dance choreographed with all the grace of a Dickens plot twist, Z Squared is to be swallowed whole by Coeptis (NASDAQ: COEP), trading its soul—along with a mere 9,000 U.S.-based dogecoin (DOGE) mining machines—for a bite of equity. You may indulge in the full particulars of this farce here, though I dare say it will disappoint those thirsting for stability in these strange times.
As if by magic—or the mundane laws of regulatory red tape—the boards have nodded sagely, awaiting the sign-off from the gods of Nasdaq, regulators, and shareholders alike. Expect the curtain to fall on this act by Q3 2025, with the resulting beast to be christened Z Squared, Inc. and to parade itself on the Nasdaq’s grand stage.
Z Squared’s own illustrious ringleaders, David Halabu (CEO) and Michelle Burke (COO), shall steer this curious vessel, while Dave Mehalick, the erstwhile Coeptis CEO, exits stage left with all the aplomb of a man relieved to be done with such theatrics. Mr. Halabu, founder of Group 10 Capital Management, assures us of a noble cause: to lavish investors with the romantic allure of dogecoin’s $27 billion playground.
The new entity, like a dog with two tails, will dig fervently into dogecoin mining, basking in the glow of proof-of-work blockchain rewards. Meanwhile, shareholders may dabble in canine coin merriment while wistfully keeping one eye on those spun-off biopharma enigmas, wandering off independently into the fog of medical research.
Meanwhile, the biopharmaceutical fiends—those tireless seekers of cell therapies for dire maladies—will persist, untouched by crypto absurdities, while the tech division, flush with AI and automation gadgets, remains in the mix of this digital gold rush.
Z Squared, a miner famed for both DOGE and the elusive litecoin (LTC), aims to woo fortune from this altcoin wilderness. For those insatiably curious, the fine print and the sordid details shall soon grace the annals of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). Should you desire to divine the secrets of leadership interests or merger terms, the SEC’s tomes await your scrutiny.
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2025-04-27 02:01