🤑 Crypto Stocks GO BRRR! 🚀

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  • Now, listen here, folks. The crypto stocks, they went and done surged. Like a dust storm in the Oklahoma panhandle, fueled by that there bitcoin, climbin’ higher than a hound dog in a pecan tree, past ninety thousand, mind you. 🤯
  • The big boys, Strategy and Coinbase, they got a little lift, ’bout eight, nine percent. But the miners, them fellas diggin’ for digital gold, they went wild. Bitdeer, CleanSpark, MARA, Riot – names that sound like characters from a dime novel – they doubled their take. 💰💰
  • But don’t get too excited, see? The U.S. mining operations, they got troubles brewin’. Tariffs, like a swarm of locusts eatin’ up their profits, and growth slowin’ like molasses in January. 🐌

Crypto-related stocks surged on Tuesday, yeah, they did. Ridin’ the wave of that crypto rally, like a bunch of Okies headin’ west. Bitcoin, she crossed ninety thousand. Makes a fella wonder what’s comin’ next. 🤔

Strategy (MSTR), they hold more bitcoin than a miser holds gold, and Coinbase (COIN), where folks trade this digital stuff, they were up eight, nine percent. Not bad, not bad at all. 🤷‍♂️

But the miners, now they were the real show. Bitdeer Technologies (BTDR) jumped like a jackrabbit, twenty percent. Bitfarms (BITF), CleanSpark (CLSK), Cipher Mining (CIFR), MARA Holdings (MARA), and Riot Platforms (RIOT) – they all soared, like eagles escaping a chicken coop, between ten and fifteen percent. 🦅

Meanwhile, the regular stock market, what they call TradFi, it bounced back too. Nasdaq and S&P 500, up a couple percent. Seems like folks got a little hope from talk about the U.S. and China settlin’ down. 🤝

Miners and tariff risks

The miners, they’re climbin’ back after a long fall. Margins squeezed tighter than a tick on a dog, competition fierce like a poker game in a saloon, and them tariffs, they’re a real pain in the neck. Most of these miners are still down low, like a snake in the grass. 🐍

The trouble is, the government’s tryin’ to make it harder to get the machines they need to mine bitcoin. That means the U.S. mining operations might just dry up and blow away, like a tumbleweed in the desert.🌵

Taras Kulyk, a fella who knows about these things, says the tariffs will hit hard. “Other places that used to be too expensive,” he says, “they’re lookin’ mighty fine now.” Canada, in particular, might just get rich off this. 🇨🇦

Now, Bitdeer, they’re buildin’ their own machines, and they decided to mine for themselves instead of sellin’ the machines. Smart move, maybe. And Tether, them folks behind the stablecoin, they been buyin’ up Bitdeer shares like there’s no tomorrow. $32 million, they spent. 🤑

Even so, most miner stocks have been on the skids since December, long before these tariffs came along. Now, with bitcoin climbin’ and money flowin’ back in, miners are catchin’ a ride, like a hobo on a freight train. 🚂

But no matter what happens today, them tariffs are gonna matter. And with earnin’s season comin’, everyone’s gonna be listenin’ to what the big bosses say about how things are changin’. Elon Musk’s Tesla, they got bitcoin too, so what he says might give us a clue. But who knows? It’s all just a gamble, ain’t it? 🎲

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2025-04-22 22:26