Oh, gather ‘round, you curious lot, for MicroStrategy isn’t just dabbling in Bitcoin—they’re gobbling it up like a ravenous giant with a never-ending sweet tooth! In the year 2025, by the 20th day of April (mark your calendars!), they had snagged a whopping 6,556 shiny Bitcoins, shelling out a staggering $555.8 million! That’s like paying $84,785 for each little glittering digital coin, as if they were rare golden tickets. 🍬
“$MSTR has scooped up 6,556 BTC for about $555.8 million, paying roughly $84,785 a pop, and boasting a 12.1% Bitcoin yield this year. As of April 20, @Strategy clutches 538,200 Bitcoins—bought for a jaw-dropping $36.47 billion at $67,766 each.”
— The ever-enthusiastic Michael Saylor (@saylor), April 21, 2025
Yes, you heard that right! MicroStrategy now owns a treasure trove of 538,200 Bitcoins, dropping about $36.47 billion on this peculiar stash, averaging $67,766 a coin. And the best part? Their digital gold mine is churning out a sprightly 12.1% Bitcoin yield in 2025! Not bad for a bunch of ones and zeros, eh? 💰
After pausing just long enough to catch their breath, these Bitcoin munchkins dove right back into the fray on April 14th, gobbling up 3,459 coins for $285.8 million. Each coin cost a pretty penny at $82,618—like gourmet chocolates, but with more volatility and fewer calories.
Through Bitcoin’s wild mood swings, MicroStrategy’s love affair with these cryptic coins stays fierce and unshaken. Their faithful buying binge is like a determined squirrel hoarding nuts for winter—only with far fancier currency. 🐿️💸
MicroStrategy Stocks Leap Like A Very Excited Frog
And if you thought the crypto craze ended there, think again! The company’s stock, known by its fancy ticker “MSTR,” has skyrocketed over 133% in just one year. It laughably outpaced the likes of Tesla, Bitcoin itself, Nvidia, and even Apple! This week, MSTR hopped up 13%, including a cheeky 3% leap in a single day, pushing shares to a heady $317. Imagine that—a stock doing better than the best rollercoaster in town!
Michael Saylor shared that more than 13,000 institutions and 814,000 retail investors own a piece of this Bitcoin bonanza directly. And wait, there’s more: about 55 million poor souls get to taste the magic of MicroStrategy through ETFs, mutual funds, pensions, and insurance portfolios. Talk about popular!
The Crypto Garden Blooms Green Again 🌱
As if sprinkled with fairy dust, MSTR’s rally swooped in alongside a bullish crypto market comeback. The total crypto wonderland’s value bounced back up to $2.75 trillion, with Bitcoin gleaming at nearly $87,500—the highest in three weeks! Ethereum chimed in with a pleasant 3.4% rise, trading close to $1,633, while the merry band of altcoins—XRP, Solana, Cardano, and even Dogecoin—joined the party with modest gains.
And just when you think this tale couldn’t get juicier, a glimmer of political hope shines through: China’s president hinted at reopening trade talks with President Trump, so long as mutual respect is on the menu. Shiny news like this always tickles investor spirits, sending global markets into a joyful jiggle. 🥳
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- tag, not repeated as a header. They want all images retained and no tags or color styles. First, I’ll start with the title. The original title is “Hyperliquid Price Reversal, Will Bears Drag HYPE Down to $35?” I need to make it more clickbaity and Terry Pratchett-esque. Maybe something like “Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸” That’s under 100 characters? Let me check: “Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸” – yes, 97 characters. Good. Next, the body. The first paragraph talks about the rollercoaster week with whale activity and liquidations. Terry would probably compare it to something absurd. Maybe a “rollercoaster” isn’t enough. Maybe “the Hyperliquid rollercoaster took a detour through a black hole” or something. Also, mention the whale trader with a humorous twist. Maybe “a certain whale with a penchant for drama and a balance sheet thicker than a fantasy novel” to add that Pratchett flair. The second paragraph about the $19 billion event. Maybe refer to it as “the Great Liquidation of Doom” or something. “fresh on the backdrop” could be “fresh from the annals of ‘Oh My Goodness, Not Again'” to add humor. In the price analysis section, the 8% drop. Terry might compare it to a “graceful swan dive into a puddle of despair.” The market cap and volume up 4.22%-maybe “panic selling and algorithmic trades are having a party where the only music is the sound of wallets sobbing.” The technicals part: slipped below SMA lines. Maybe “HYPE decided to play ‘hot potato’ with its moving averages.” MACD and RSI-describe them as “momentum indicators are throwing a hissy fit” and RSI “hovering near 41 like a nervous pigeon.” The FAQs need to be rewritten with sarcasm. “Why is Hyperliquid underperforming?” could be phrased as “Why is Hyperliquid underperforming? Well, let’s see. It’s like asking why a duck is bad at chess…” Then mention the technical breakdowns and whale shorts as “a perfect storm of technical breakdowns and whale-sized shorts.” Next support level: “The $33-$35 range is the next critical support zone…” Maybe “the $33-$35 range is where hopes go to be gently soothed by Fibonacci fairy dust.” Recovery question: “HYPE needs a sustained close above $41.42…” Maybe “HYPE needs to do the equivalent of a sober caber toss over $41.42.” Throughout, add emojis where appropriate. For example, after mentioning whales, add 🐋💸. In the FAQs, maybe 💩 for the underperforming question. Check for all images retained. The figure tag is there, so leave it as is. Avoid using tags, no color styles. Ensure the title is only in the tag and not as a header. The original had H2 headers, so keep those but maybe tweak the text to be more whimsical. Like “Hyperliquid Price Analysis” becomes “Hyperliquid Price Analysis (Or: The Day the HYPE Died?)” Wait, but the user said not to repeat the title in the body as a header. The original title was “Hyperliquid Price Reversal, Will Bears Drag HYPE Down to $35?” but the new title is different. So the H2 headers should be original, so the first H2 can stay as “Hyperliquid Price Analysis” but maybe add some humor there. Alternatively, maybe “Hyperliquid’s Great Adventure in the Land of Red Arrows” or something. But need to make sure it’s not the same as the title. Also, ensure that the humor is consistent throughout, with a bit of sarcasm and playful language. Avoid markdown, just HTML. Check for any tags and remove them. Use , , , etc., as in the original. Finally, wrap it all in HTML structure with the new title, and ensure emojis are appropriately placed without overdoing it. Let me go through each section step by step and inject the humor, sarcasm, and emojis as per Terry Pratchett’s style.End of Thought (23.26s) Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸
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2025-04-21 15:09