Oh, what a jolly old day it was on Thursday, April 17! U.S. stocks opened with a delightful mix, like a box of chocolates where some are sweet and others are a bit nutty! 🍫
As the market danced around like a wobbly jelly, investors were all ears for trade talks, but alas! The Dow Jones Industrial Average decided to play a game of hide-and-seek, opening lower and then plummeting like a lead balloon, losing a whopping 500 points! All thanks to UnitedHealth, which took a nosedive faster than a cat off a hot tin roof! 🐱💨
Meanwhile, the S&P 500 and Nasdaq Composite were feeling a tad cheeky, opening slightly higher at +0.3% and +0.4%. It was as if they were saying, “Look at us! We’re doing just fine!” This was all thanks to TSMC, who announced a 60% increase in first-quarter net profit. Talk about a chip off the old block! 🥔💰
But hold your horses! The S&P 500 and Nasdaq were feeling the pressure, like a balloon about to pop, as the mood remained as gloomy as a rainy day in London. ☔️
Earlier, in a twist worthy of a Dahlian tale, President Donald Trump took to his trusty Truth Social to unleash a tirade against Fed Chair Jerome Powell, calling him “late and wrong.” Oh dear, that sounds like a recipe for disaster! 🍽️
This outburst came after Powell had the audacity to suggest that U.S. tariffs were making the Fed’s job as tricky as a cat trying to catch a laser pointer. Trump, in his infinite wisdom, declared that the Fed must cut interest rates, pointing out that the European Central Bank was already on the rate-cutting bandwagon. And lo and behold, they did just that, announcing a 25-basis-point cut! 🎉
In his post, Trump exclaimed, “Powell’s termination cannot come fast enough!” Oh, the drama! It’s like a soap opera, but with more numbers and less romance! 💔
With stocks taking a tumble this week, led by the chipmaker Nvidia, the Dow and S&P 500 were looking at a dip of more than 1%. The tech-heavy Nasdaq, meanwhile, had shed 2.5% in just five days. It’s a shortened trading week, and investors are crossing their fingers for a happy ending, with tariffs and monetary policy swirling around like a whirlwind! 🌪️
And let’s not forget about Bitcoin (BTC) and its cryptocurrency pals, who were just sitting there, reflecting the broader risk-off sentiment like a mirror in a funhouse. BTC was as flat as a pancake in the past 24 hours, hovering near $84,500. 🥞
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2025-04-17 17:07