In a note to clients on Tuesday, Hougan, the Bitwise CIO, basically said, “Folks, Bitcoin is like that one friend who shows up to a hurricane with a piña colada and says, ‘What storm?’” 🍹 Despite the U.S. strategic reserve shenanigans and President Trump’s global tariff tantrum, Bitcoin has been chilling like a villain in a Mel Brooks movie — flat as a pancake for 30 days. “We’ve gone precisely sideways,” Hougan quipped, adding, “If Bitcoin could talk, it’d probably say, ‘Get outta my way, macro obstacles!’”
Bitcoin’s Stability: A Comedy of Errors
Hougan pointed out that Bitcoin is acting like it’s in a new sitcom — “Bitcoin: The Unlikely Hero.” Traditionally, BTC has been the drama queen of the financial world, dropping faster than a pie in a slapstick routine. In 2022, the S&P 500 dropped 24.5%, while Bitcoin went full-on melodrama with a 58.3% plunge. During the COVID crash, the S&P lost 33.8%, and Bitcoin, ever the overachiever, dropped 38.1%. Even in the 2018 U.S.–China trade war, Bitcoin crashed 37.2% while the S&P slid a mere 19.4%.
But now? Both the S&P and Bitcoin are down roughly 12%. “It’s like they’re holding hands and skipping through the apocalypse,” Hougan joked. “Unprecedented? Absolutely. Hilarious? You bet.”
Bitcoin’s New Role: From Class Clown to Valedictorian
Hougan believes Bitcoin is finally growing up — or at least pretending to. Once the high-beta class clown of the financial world, BTC is now trying on gold’s shoes for size. “It’s like watching a teenager borrow their dad’s suit,” Hougan said. “Awkward, but kinda impressive.”
With corporations and governments hoarding Bitcoin like it’s the last slice of pizza, BTC is starting to look less like a speculative tool and more like a macro hedge. “There’s no guarantee this relationship will hold,” Hougan admitted, “but the hedge-asset narrative is gaining traction. And let’s be honest, it’s about time Bitcoin got a real job.”
Confidence is Growing (and So Are the Jokes)
Hougan isn’t saying Bitcoin is now immune to volatility — after all, gold has still outperformed BTC during this pullback. But the fact that Bitcoin is trading above $80,000 while the world burns is, to him, a sign of its staying power. “The world is unraveling, and Bitcoin is trading above $80,000,” Hougan wrote. “If that doesn’t give you confidence, I don’t know what will. Maybe a Mel Brooks movie?”
As the broader market seeks safety and the crypto space continues to mature, Bitcoin might just be carving out a more stable role in the global financial ecosystem — one correction at a time. And if it doesn’t work out? Well, there’s always comedy. 🎭
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2025-04-16 04:17