Michael Saylor’s BTC Bonanza: Is he the Bitcoin Whisperer or just Playing with Fire? 💸🔥

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Well, hold on to your crypto wallets, folks! The world’s largest corporate bitcoin hoarder, Michael Saylor, clearly missed the memo about panic selling during a Trade War and decided instead to keep stacking the digital gold like it’s 2020 all over again! 🤔

In an absolutely thrilling announcement that has all the suspense of a daytime soap opera, our hero Saylor revealed that his company—a.k.a. the ultimate bitcoin collector—snagged a tidy sum of over 3,400 BTC for the eye-watering price of nearly $286 million. Talk about a shopping spree! 🛒

And he tweeted, “$MSTR has acquired 3,459 BTC for ~$285.8 million at ~$82,618 per bitcoin and has achieved BTC Yield of 11.4% YTD 2025. As of 4/13/2025, @Strategy holds 531,644 $BTC acquired for ~$35.92 billion at ~$67,556 per bitcoin.” Fancy that! Always a good reminder to triple check your math before hitting ‘send.’ 🤷‍♀️

— Michael Saylor (@saylor) April 14, 2025

So now, after throwing around $36 billion like a high roller at the crypto casino, Strategy has a jaw-dropping 531,644 BTC stashed away. If that doesn’t make your heart race, nothing will!

During the first quarter, the company continued its wild money-splashing extravaganza, shelling out a staggering $7.7 billion on BTC. Someone must have turned up with a credit card made of gold! 💳

Meanwhile, in the latest twist worthy of a financial thriller, Saylor’s stock price has been on a ride wilder than a rollercoaster at Six Flags. From a dizzying high of $340 in late March to plummeting below $240 amidst the chaos of the Trade War. But good news! MSTR is set to make a comeback and open at $300, which is a whopping 15% jump. Bet you wish you had popcorn for this show! 🍿

But wait! Plot twists abound! Word on the street is that Saylor might need to consider selling some of his BTC treasure, thanks to a shocking $6 billion unrealized loss. Yikes! But hey, with the recent recovery of BTC, it looks like our crypto captain might just navigate this storm after all. 🎢

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2025-04-14 15:25