Monday 15th April 2025
Weight: 130 lbs (v.g.)
Tariffs understood: 0 (poor)
Minutes spent pretending to understand economics: 45 (v. bad)
No. of times googled “What is Chamath”: 3 (better than yesterday)
🤔 Gaaaaah! Have just watched most confusing interview ever with impossibly clever and annoyingly handsome billionaire Chamath thingy (must remember full name). V. concerned about appearing thick at dinner party tonight when everyone discusses it.
Right. *pulls self together* According to mega-rich tech genius (who probably has perfect abs), Trump isn’t just having traditional testosterone-fueled trade tiff with China (though obv that too). No no no! It’s all apparently part of massive scheme to make America self-sufficient again. Rather like trying to move back in with parents after horrific break-up, only with entire country. 🏠
These tariffs could generate up to $750B annually – enough to offset a significant portion of income taxes for middle-class Americans.
Companies face a choice: pay tariffs or bring production home.
The implications are massive:
— Adam Oxsen (@AdamOxsen) April 9, 2025
Chamath (finally remembered name! 🎉) says something v serious about America being “fragile”. Feel rather like America after too many wines at Bridget’s birthday party.
11:30 AM: Must concentrate. Key points:
- Lost 5 million manufacturing jobs since 2000 (roughly number of calories in last night’s cheese binge)
- Big corporations being absolutely sneaky devils 😈
- China charging 25% while US only 3% (v. unfair, like Mark’s dating history)
2:30 PM: Trump’s grand plan involves different tariffs:
- Everyday goods: 10% (like price increase at favorite shoe shop 😭)
- Industrial parts: 20% (no idea what these are)
- High-tech stuff: 25-60% (roughly price of monthly Uber Eats habit)
Must remember for dinner party: This is all v. clever plan to make America strong and independent again. Rather like my New Year’s resolution to stop drunk-texting Daniel. Both equally likely to succeed. 🙈
Will now reward self with chocolate for understanding complex economic concepts. 🍫
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2025-04-10 08:08