Well, slap my wallet and call me a crypto cowboy-Arthur Hayes has gone and done it again. The man who once made BitMEX a household name (or at least a household headache for regulators) is now singing the praises of Zcash, declaring it his “largest position outside of Bitcoin.” Yes, you heard that right. Zcash. Not Ethereum. Not Dogecoin. Zcash. Because apparently, in a world where AI, Big Tech, and governments are turning into nosy neighbors with telescopes, financial privacy is the new black.
In a chat with Laura Shin, the crypto oracle Hayes proclaimed Zcash as the “strongest privacy asset in crypto.” Now, before you start picturing him in a trench coat and sunglasses, whispering about Monero in dark alleys, let’s be clear: Hayes admits he’s “not a cryptographer.” But hey, who needs a degree when you’ve got opinions and a Substack, right? He’s read the arguments, chatted with developers, and decided Zcash is the bee’s knees. Monero? Pfft. Close, but no cigar.
Hayes isn’t calling for Bitcoin to go full incognito, mind you. He still sees value in its transparent ledger for accountability. But with AI turning into a Sherlock Holmes for blockchain transactions, he reckons privacy coins like Zcash are about to have their moment. “It’s very trivial to de-anonymize transactions,” he said, sounding like a man who’s watched one too many spy movies. And who are we to argue? The guy’s track record is about as reliable as a weather forecast in Britain-sometimes spot on, sometimes hilariously off.
But wait, there’s more! Hayes isn’t just stopping at Zcash. Oh no. He’s got his eyes on NEAR, too, because why bet on one horse when you can bet on the entire racetrack? In his latest essay, aptly titled “The Butterfly Touch” (because nothing says crypto like lepidopterology), he argues that AI spending, geopolitical drama, and good old-fashioned credit creation are reopening the “risk-on” window for crypto. Bitcoin to $126,000? A “foregone conclusion,” he says. Bold. Very bold.
And then there’s the altcoin section, where Hayes declares it’s “time to shitcoin.” Yes, he actually said that. Hyperliquid and Zcash are already in his portfolio, and NEAR is his “next favorite” trade. Because nothing screams confidence like calling your investments “shitcoins.” His next essay promises to explain how Zcash and NEAR could create a “positive cash flow situation” for the protocol. Spoiler alert: it involves privacy, utility, and probably a dash of wishful thinking.
So, is Hayes onto something, or is he just another crypto guru throwing darts at a board? Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure: with AI turning into Big Brother and privacy becoming a premium, Zcash might just be the trench coat of the crypto world. And Arthur Hayes? Well, he’s either a genius or a man with a very expensive hunch. Place your bets, folks.
At press time, Zcash was trading at $541.75. But who’s counting?
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2026-05-14 07:34