HSBC Declares the S&P 500 Has Hit Bottom-Are We Finally Out of the Doldrums?

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HSBC, that stalwart of British banking with an accent as thick as a fog over the Thames, has made a rather audacious proclamation: the US stock market has likely reached its nadir. Well, let’s all breathe a collective sigh of relief, shall we?

In a rather exhilarating chat on Squawk on the Street (which, let’s be honest, sounds like the sort of show where stockbrokers go to air their latest fever dreams), the bank’s chief multi-asset strategist, Max Kettner, casually mentioned that the S&P 500’s recent tumble to a modest 6,343 could, just could, be the bottom we’ve all been waiting for. Oh, how thrilling.

“Until very recently,” Kettner mused, “we didn’t quite have this delightful contrarian signal. Now, however, the signs are clear. Everyone was nearly out of the market, and last week, well, that changed, didn’t it?”

Indeed, according to Kettner, the market is flashing the sort of bullish signals that are typically seen only on Liberation Day (but with fewer fireworks and far more spreadsheets). Apparently, the mood has shifted-specifically in the hedging sector. It’s almost as if the entire market is giving us a wink and a nod, as if to say, “Come on in, the water’s fine.”

“What we’re seeing now,” he continued with great enthusiasm, “is that, for the first time in what feels like forever, hedging, skew ratios, and surveys are all telling us it’s time to buy. Investor Intelligence, AAII-they’re practically waving a giant ‘Buy Now’ sign. Sure, people might be a little over-hedged, but let’s not quibble over the details.”

So, there we have it. According to HSBC’s crack team of financial soothsayers, the bottom is in. Whether the market’s surge will live up to the hype, of course, remains to be seen-but at least we’ve got our first proper “buy signal” since the dawn of time-or at least since the last crash.

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2026-04-08 16:42