Bankers to Crypto: “Slow Your Roll, You Degens!”

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Oh, the American Bankers Association (ABA), those guardians of the vault, have decided that crypto firms like Ripple, Coinbase, and Circle are moving too fast for their liking. In a move that screams “Get off my lawn!”, they’ve asked the OCC to slam the brakes on national bank charter reviews. Because, you know, nothing says “innovation” like a bunch of suits demanding everyone slow down to their snail’s pace.

In a letter that could only be described as a masterclass in bureaucratic hand-wringing, the ABA pleaded with the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency to “be patient.” Translation: “Please, for the love of compound interest, don’t let these crypto whippersnappers outrun us.”

“We urge the OCC to be patient, not measure its application decisioning progress against traditional timelines, and allow each charter applicant’s regulatory responsibilities to come fully into view before moving a charter application forward,” the ABA said, presumably while adjusting their monocles.

Why the Fuss?

Apparently, the GENIUS Act (yes, that’s its real name-no snickering) requires five agencies to finish their rulemaking before anything can move forward. The ABA claims this process is “years away,” which is banker-speak for “We’re not ready to share our sandbox yet.” They’re also worried about insolvency risk, because nothing says “trust us” like pointing to FTX and Celsius and saying, “See? This could be you!”

“Entities engaged in activities substantially similar to those in which some recent OCC charter applicants presumably intend to engage have failed suddenly and for reasons that have resulted in meaningful losses – not only for the broader financial services industry but consumers, too.”

Yes, because traditional banks have never mismanaged funds or caused economic meltdowns. cough 2008 cough

Who’s in the Hot Seat?

Ripple, fresh off its conditional approval from the OCC, is leading the pack of crypto firms now facing the ABA’s side-eye. Joining them are Circle, BitGo, Paxos, Coinbase, and Nomura’s Laser Digital. Senator Warren has also chimed in, because of course she has, calling for a halt to World Liberty Financial’s trust bank ambitions. It’s like a regulatory pile-on, but with more spreadsheets.

What’s Next?

The ABA isn’t just stopping at delays-they also want to ban crypto firms from using the word “bank” unless they’re, you know, actually a bank. Because nothing strikes fear into the heart of a consumer like a crypto company calling itself a bank. “Oh no, they might think we’re as stable as Wells Fargo!”

So, there you have it. The path to a national crypto bank charter just got about as smooth as a gravel road. But hey, at least we’ll have plenty of popcorn-worthy drama to watch as the old guard tries to keep the new kids in line.

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2026-02-12 13:13