Ah, the grand theater of modern finance unfolds once more! On September 10, Paxos-those ever-so-serious architects of stability (and bureaucracy)-unveiled their USDH Proposal V2. What marvels does it contain? Oh, just three “gifts” for humanity: HYPE tokens now available on PayPal and Venmo (because who doesn’t want to gamble with their grocery money?), free USDH on/off-ramps (free as in “no fees yet”), and a cool $20 million in ecosystem incentives (enough to buy everyone’s loyalty… or at least a few developers).
But wait! There’s a twist worthy of Tolstoy himself. Paxos has vowed not to rake in profits until USDH reaches its Total Value Locked (TVL) target. How noble! And when they do start earning, fees will be capped at 5%-paid, naturally, in HYPE. Because nothing says “trustworthy currency” like an acronym that sounds like a teenager’s text message.
Oh, but let us applaud their ambition! As a regulated stablecoin issuer (yes, the regulators are always watching 👀), Paxos dreams of compliant global domination-starting with Europe, because where else would you begin your quest for financial hegemony? This update, they claim, is all about scaling USDH distribution while ensuring users, partners, and builders are united in purpose-or perhaps in desperation.
So here we stand, dear reader, witnessing another chapter in the great saga of blockchain capitalism. Will this proposal usher in a new era of prosperity? Or is it merely another castle built on sand, ready to crumble under the weight of its own hype? Only time-and maybe a few lawsuits-will tell. 🏰💸
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2025-09-10 12:00