Ah, the marvellous world of Bitcoin! Where numbers dance like sugarplums and wallets shrink faster than a chocolate bar in a greedy child’s hands. Strategy, that cunning old fox, has just thrown another $1.25 billion into the Bitcoin bonfire, because why not? 🔥💸
Once upon a time, in a land of volatile markets and fickle fortunes, Strategy decided to double down on its Bitcoin obsession. With a wave of its corporate wand, it scooped up 13,627 BTC in January, proving that it’s not just a pretty face in the crypto circus. 🎪🤑 This bold move cements its crown as the world’s largest corporate Bitcoin hoarder-a title as prestigious as winning the “Most Likely to Outsmart the Market” award at the Financial Follies. 🏆
Strategy’s Bitcoin Binge: A Tale of Greed and Glory
According to a Securities and Exchange Commission filing (because even fairy tales need paperwork), Strategy went on a shopping spree from January 5 to January 11, spending a cool $1.25 billion at an average price of $91,519 per Bitcoin. 📜✨ The announcement came in a Form 8-K filing, which is just a fancy way of saying, “Look at us, we’re still rich and reckless!”
Strategy has acquired 13,627 BTC for ~$1.25 billion at ~$91,519 per bitcoin. As of 1/11/2026, we hodl 687,410 BTC acquired for ~$51.80 billion at ~$75,353 per bitcoin. 🤑💎
– Michael Saylor (@saylor)
With this latest haul, Strategy’s Bitcoin stash now totals 687,410 BTC, worth a jaw-dropping $62.3 billion. That’s enough to make Scrooge McDuck blush! 🦆💰 And let’s not forget the $10.5 billion in unrealized gains-because who doesn’t love a good paper profit? 📈
Related Reading: Crypto News: Strategy Shares Jump 5% After MSCI Delays DAT Ban Decision – Hooray for Red Tape! 🎉
Michael Saylor, the mastermind behind this financial fandango, confirmed the $51.8 billion spending spree. That’s more than most countries’ GDPs, but hey, who’s counting? 🌍💸 And with over 3% of Bitcoin’s capped supply in its pocket, Strategy is basically the crypto equivalent of a dragon sitting on a hoard of gold. 🐉✨
But how did they fund this madness? Ah, the magic of at-the-market sales of common equity and perpetual preferred equity! It’s like printing money, but with more jargon and fewer consequences. 🪄💼
Strategy’s been at this game for a while, using equity and debt issuance to pile up Bitcoin like it’s going out of style. And why not? They see Bitcoin as the ultimate hedge against the evils of currency debasement-because nothing says “financial security” like a volatile digital asset. 🤪💹
Oh, and let’s not forget their December 29-January 4 purchase of 1,283 BTC for $116 million. Because one Bitcoin binge is never enough! 🛒🚀
Strategy’s Crypto Circus: Shaping Markets and Minds
Strategy’s Bitcoin obsession isn’t just a sideshow-it’s the main event! Every move they make sends ripples through the institutional pond, turning heads in traditional financial markets. 🌊💼 Their disclosures are like fireworks, lighting up trading activity and keeping everyone on their toes. 🎆📊
For equity investors, Strategy offers a wild ride without the hassle of actually owning Bitcoin. It’s like eating cake without the calories-high-beta exposure with a side of traditional investment mandates. 🍰📈 But beware! This strategy also comes with a side of balance sheet volatility, because what’s life without a little risk? 🎢💥
Yet, through market ups and downs, Strategy remains steadfast in its Bitcoin belief. They’re like a stubborn mule, refusing to budge despite periodic corrections. 🐴💪 And with plans to keep exploiting capital markets opportunistically, they’re playing the long game-interest rates and investor demand be damned! 🎲💸
From a macroeconomic perspective, Strategy’s holdings are now a big fish in the Bitcoin pond, rivaling even sovereign-level exposures. Policymakers and regulators are watching with bated breath, because nothing says “fun” like a corporate entity controlling a chunk of the global Bitcoin supply. 🌍👀
In the end, Strategy’s January filing is a testament to their transparency-or perhaps their love of drama. Either way, investors get a front-row seat to their Bitcoin accumulation saga. Will it pay off? Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure: Strategy’s belief in Bitcoin’s long-term value is as unshakable as a child’s faith in Santa Claus. 🎅✨
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2026-01-12 18:24