🤑 Crypto in 401(k)s? Congress Says “Let’s Get This Blockchain Party Started!” 🎉

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🚨 Breaking News from the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave (and the Slightly Confused)! 🚨 The US Congress is galloping faster than a horse in a Mel Brooks comedy to back President Donald Trump’s Executive Order 14330, signed on August 7, 2025. 🎩✨ This masterpiece of legislation is all about “democratizing access to alternative assets, including crypto, for 401(k) Investors.” Because who doesn’t want their retirement savings riding the Bitcoin rollercoaster? 🎢💸

This order commands the Department of Labor (DOL) and the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to lower regulatory barriers faster than a banana peel in a slapstick scene. 🍌😂 Currently, these barriers keep investments in alternative assets-like private equity, real estate, digital assets, and commodities-out of 401(k) retirement plans. But fear not, the government is here to save the day… or is it?

Congressional Crypto Crusade: 401(k)s to the Moon! 🚀

In a letter that’s more bipartisan than a bar fight in a Western saloon, Republican Congressman French Hill and Democratic ranking member Maxine Waters of the House Financial Services Committee joined forces. 🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️ They’re all in for this Executive Order, claiming it’s the key to giving Americans access to alternative investments and boosting their retirement savings. Because nothing says “secure future” like putting your nest egg in the hands of volatile digital coins! 🥚💥

The letter, written with the drama of a Shakespearean sonnet, emphasizes that the Executive Order tells the Secretary of Labor to cozy up with the SEC and figure out how to tweak the rules. 📜✍️ It also nudges the SEC to change its guidelines so 90 million Americans can finally invest in these “alternative assets.” Because who needs traditional stocks when you can have NFTs of cats? 🐱🖼️

But wait, there’s a plot twist! The American Federation of Teachers (AFT) is not having it. They’ve slammed the brakes on this crypto train, calling the order “as irresponsible as it is reckless.” 🚂🔥 AFT President Randi Weingarten is waving red flags, warning of fraud, unethical practices, and the potential collapse of retirement plans. 🏁⚠️ She’s particularly worried about non-crypto companies issuing stock on the blockchain, which she says could turn securities laws into Swiss cheese. 🧀💼

AFT Sounds the Alarm: Crypto or Chaos? 🤔

As reported by Bitcoinist on Wednesday, December 10, Weingarten didn’t hold back. She’s more skeptical than a cat at a cucumber convention. 🐱🥒 Her main beef? The order could lead to retirement plans being invested in assets that are about as safe as a unicycle on a tightrope. 🪢🤡 She’s also worried about the union’s own pensions, because who wants their golden years funded by digital tokens named after memes? 🤷‍♂️💰

So, will crypto in 401(k)s be the next big thing, or just another punchline in the great American financial comedy? Stay tuned, folks, because this show is just getting started! 🎭🍿

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2025-12-12 09:13