🤑 Cash Floods America: Foreigners Buy $646.8B in Stocks – Is the US the Last Unicorn? 🦄

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Well, butter my biscuit and call me a wizard! 🧙‍♂️ A tidal wave of cash, thicker than a troll’s wallet, is crashing into the good ol’ US of A. Foreign investors are scooping up American equities like they’re going out of fashion (which, let’s face it, they might be). Treasury demand is doing the financial equivalent of the hokey-pokey, and domestic inflows are sprinting towards the finish line faster than a Discworld postman on a double espresso.

Meanwhile, in a plot twist worthy of a footnoted footnote, US consumer debt has hit heights that would make a dragon’s hoard blush. 🤑 For crypto and equity investors, this is less of a shift and more of a financial earthquake. Risk appetite? More like risk buffet-everyone’s piling their plate high, but no one’s checked the bill yet.

Foreign Investors: “We’ll Take the Lot!” 🛒💸

According to the wise sages at Yardeni Research, private investors from lands far and wide (read: not America) have chucked $646.8 billion into US equities in the last 12 months. That’s right, billion. With a B. As in “Bloody hell, that’s a lot of clams.” 🦪

JUST IN: 🇺🇸 Private investors outside U.S. purchased record $646.8 billion of U.S. equities in the 12 months ending in September 2025 – Yardeni Research.

– Whale Insider (@WhaleInsider) November 30, 2025

This beats the 2021 peak by a whopping 66%, which is like saying your cat beat a cheetah in a race. 🐱💨 And let’s not forget the $492.7 billion they’ve sunk into US Treasuries. Because, you know, why not? It’s not like they’re buying actual treasure. 🏴‍☠️

“Everyone wants US assets,” analysts at the Kobeissi Letter remarked. (Translation: “America’s the last unicorn in a world of donkeys.” 🦄🍩)

But here’s the kicker: the Treasury ownership game is getting a makeover. China’s share? Down to 7.6%, the lowest in 23 years. The UK’s? Quadrupled to 9.4%. Japan’s still leading, but even they’re down 26 points. It’s like a game of financial musical chairs, and someone’s about to be left standing. 🎶💺

  • China: 7.6% (Last seen muttering about “strategic rebalancing.”)
  • UK: 9.4% (Cheers to Brexit, I suppose? 🍻)
  • Japan: 12.9% (Still the big fish, but the pond’s getting crowded.)

Something unusual is happening in the US Treasury market:

China’s Treasury holdings as a % of all foreign holdings is down to 7.6%, the lowest in 23 years.

This percentage has declined -20 points over the last 14 years.

As a result, China now ranks as the world’s 3rd-largest…

– The Kobeissi Letter (@KobeissiLetter) November 29, 2025

Domestic Investors: “Hold My Beer” 🍺📈

Americans, never ones to be outdone, have thrown $900 billion into equity funds since November 2024. Half of that? In the last five months. Fixed-income funds got $400 billion, while everything else got a measly $100 billion. It’s like the financial version of a popularity contest, and US equities are the prom queen. 👑

Financial chart showing inflows

But wait! There’s a plot twist. US households are drowning in credit-card debt to the tune of $1.233 trillion. That’s trillion. With a T. As in “Time to start selling plasma.” 🩸

JUST IN: 🇺🇸 Total U.S. credit-card debt reaches $1.233 trillion in third quarter of 2025, highest amount since tracking began.

– Whale Insider (@WhaleInsider) November 30, 2025

So, while the markets are doing the financial equivalent of the Macarena, everyday folks are doing the financial equivalent of the slow sink into quicksand. 🕺🪫

December: The Month of Miracles (and Markets) 🎄📈

JP Morgan, those merry prognosticators, reckon the S&P 500 will hit 8,000 next year. Because, why not? It’s December, the month when markets traditionally go full Santa Claus. 🎅 Since 1928, the S&P 500 has risen 73% of the time in December, with an average return of +1.28%. Ho ho ho, indeed.

S&P 500 could hit 8,000 next year says JP Morgan 🥳📈🤑🫂

– Barchart (@Barchart) November 29, 2025

For crypto and equity markets, this influx of cash is either a vote of confidence in America or a desperate grab at the last life raft. 🛟 Either way, 2026 is shaping up to be a wild ride. Will the inflows keep coming? Will Treasury demand shift as the world rebalances its portfolio? And will record consumer debt turn into a financial anchor? Only time-and Terry Pratchett’s Death-will tell. ☠️⏳

With liquidity bubbling like a witch’s cauldron and seasonality on their side, both traditional and digital markets are poised for a decisive phase. So, grab your popcorn, your cryptocurrency, and your sense of humor. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. 🍿🚀

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2025-12-01 01:28