🤑 BTCS & BMNR: Crypto Dividends & ETH Hoards – The Future is Here! 🚀

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Well, butter my biscuit and call me astonished! BTCS, that plucky little Nasdaq-listed rascal, has gone and done the unthinkable-it’s slinging Ethereum dividends like a riverboat gambler tossing gold coins in a saloon. 🪙 Yep, you heard it right, folks. The world’s first blockchain dividend, or as they’re callin’ it, the “Bividend,” is here to shake up the stodgy old financial world like a tornado in a teacup. 🌪️

The Long-Term Wink to Crypto’s Future

According to their hootenanny of an announcement on X (formerly the bird app, for you old-timers), BTCS is handin’ out $0.05 per share in ETH. That’s right, no cash, no checks-just good ol’ Ethereum. And if you’re loyal enough to stick around till January 26, 2026, they’ll toss in an extra $0.35 per share. 🤑 That’s $0.40 total, folks-enough to make a short-seller weep into his whiskey. 🥃

“We’re not just payin’ dividends,” BTCS declared, “we’re buildin’ a fortress against those varmint short-sellers.” 🤠 And by golly, they ain’t kidding. This ain’t just about money-it’s about trust, loyalty, and stickin’ it to the man. Or, in this case, the short-sellers. 📉

Bitmine’s ETH Hoard: Bigger Than a Texas Steak

Meanwhile, over in the land of crypto hoards, Bitmine Immersion Technologies (BMNR) is sittin’ on a pile of ETH so big, it’d make a dragon jealous. 🐉 Marty Chargin, the X platform’s resident wiseacre, spilled the beans: BMNR’s got 1,523,373 ETH, valued at a cool $4,326 each. That’s $6.612 billion, folks-enough to make Scrooge McDuck blush. 💰

And let’s not forget their 192 Bitcoin, just for good measure. BMNR’s playin’ the long game, bettin’ big on ETH like it’s the last hand of poker. 🃏 They’re right behind Michael Saylor’s MSTR, who’s hoardin’ enough Bitcoin to make a king envious. 👑

So there you have it, folks. BTCS and BMNR are writin’ the future in blockchain ink, and it’s a wild ride. 🚀 Strap in, hold your hats, and don’t say I didn’t warn you when the financial world flips upside down. 🌍

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2025-08-19 23:12