Ah, the sweet scent of capitalism mingling with the digital ether! Flora Growth Corp., a pharmaceutical peddler turned crypto dreamer, has conjured a staggering $401 million from the pockets of the hopeful and the gullible. Among the benefactors, DeFi Development Corp. stands tall, tossing $22.88 million into the pot like a gambler with a lucky coin. Their grand scheme? To birth an AI-powered treasury for the Zero Gravity (0G) coin, a name so lofty it practically screams, “We’re reaching for the stars, comrades, even if we’re standing on quicksand!”
In a blog post dripping with corporate poetry, Flora-soon to be rechristened ZeroStack (because nothing says innovation like a name that sounds like a discount warehouse)-proclaimed its mission to marry DeFi with old-world business models. “AI isn’t just transforming what companies do,” intoned Daniel Reis-Faria, the incoming CEO, with the gravitas of a man who’s read one too many tech manifestos. “It’s transforming how they must build infrastructure.” Ah, yes, infrastructure-the buzzword that turns even the most mundane endeavors into revolutionary quests.
But let’s not forget the real star of this circus: 0G, the AI prodigy that trained a 107 billion parameter model over low-throughput internet connections. A feat so impressive, it supposedly outshines Google’s DiLoCo by 357 times! 🌟 Who needs centralized systems when you can distribute the chaos across a network? It’s like socialism for computing, except instead of sharing bread, they’re sharing processing power. And somehow, this is supposed to prove that AI can thrive without a central brain. Comrades, the revolution is decentralized-or is it just a clever ruse to sell more tokens?
0G’s Leap into the Abyss of Decentralized AI
0G, the self-proclaimed first Web3 AI company, has vertically integrated its storage, compute, and training marketplace into an all-in-one operating system. Because why settle for horizontal integration when you can stack everything like a Jenga tower? Web2 and Web3 builders, rejoice! Your AI tools are now “highly performant”-whatever that means. But fear not, for DeFi Development Corp. is leading the charge, accumulating SOL tokens like a squirrel hoarding acorns for the crypto winter.
“We’re thrilled to partner with FLGC on this fundraiser,” gushed Joseph Onorati, CEO of DeFi Development Corp., with the enthusiasm of a man who’s just been handed a golden ticket. “DFDV is excited to support AI adoption across Solana.” Because nothing says commitment like throwing money at a project and calling it collaboration. Meanwhile, other firms-Dao5, Abstract Ventures, Dispersion Capital, Blockchain Builders Fund, and Salt-have joined the party, each hoping to snag a piece of the 0G pie.
And what of Flora? Post-PIPE transaction (expected around September 26, if the stars align), they plan to gobble up more 0G tokens like a kid in a candy store. Because what’s $401 million if not a down payment on the future? 🤑 Whether this is a genius move or a colossal blunder remains to be seen. But one thing is certain: in the world of crypto, gravity is optional, and so is common sense.
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2025-09-20 13:41