Ah, comrades! Let me tell you a tale of modern-day capitalist intrigue that would make even the poorest factory worker chuckle. π
In the grand theater of cryptocurrency, where money flows like vodka at a workers’ revolution, First Digital Labs has emerged triumphant! Their latest attestation report stands like a proud proletarian against the bourgeois accusations of that notorious digital aristocrat, Justin Sun. π
Picture this, dear friends: $1.74 billion in Treasury bills and $603 million in overnight agreements β numbers that would make even the wealthiest merchant’s head spin! The total reaches 2.58 billion tokens, as perfectly balanced as a worker’s lunch scale. πΌ
The latest $FDUSD attestation reports are now available on our website:
At @FirstDigitalHQ, our commitment to financial transparency, accountability and client asset protection remains unwavering. To reinforce this commitment, we appoint two reputableβ¦
β First Digital Labs (@FDLabsHQ) April 14, 2025
But wait! Enter our antagonist, Comrade Sun (though he’s hardly worthy of that title π), waving his arms like a market square charlatan, crying theft of $500 million! Oh, the drama! He speaks of mysterious entities and shadowy “Glass Doors” in Hong Kong as if reading from a penny dreadful novel. π
Such accusations! Such theater! Our friend Sun even performed a livestream β a modern-day street performance if you will β and paraded before Hong Kong regulators like a circus ringmaster. But First Digital Trust, oh how they responded! With the fury of a thousand wronged workers, they hurled a defamation lawsuit at his feet! π
The stablecoin briefly stumbled to $0.87 β like a worker after too much celebration β but fear not, comrades! It has risen again to $0.99, steady as a factory whistle! π
And so, dear friends, FDUSD continues its march across the digital landscape, spreading across Ethereum, BNB Chain, Solana, and Sui like a well-organized labor movement. π
As this capitalist drama unfolds, First Digital Trust stands firm, publishing their attestations like revolutionary pamphlets. And we, the observers, watch with amusement as another crypto theater play unfolds! π¬
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2025-04-14 10:40