Well now, Michael Saylor-that riverboat-captain-turned-bit-coin-baron-took to X (that place formerly known as Twitter, where folks argue about tea etiquette and digital gold) to crow like a rooster with two heads. He claims he’s just scooped up another 430 shiny virtual nuggets, swelling his treasure chest to a whopping 629,376 BTC. That’s enough electronic shinplasters to buy the whole Mississippi Delta and still leave spare change for a steamboat full of catfish.
What’s the price tag on this newest handful? A cool 51.4 million simoleons, which comes out to $119,666 each. Yes, friends, that’s almost enough to buy every man, woman, and child in Hannibal a pair of golden suspenders and still tip the barber. 🤠✨
“Strategy dun snagged 430 BTC at $119,666 a pop-bless their speculative hearts-liftin’ our year-to-date yield to 25.1%. For the bean-counters: 629,376 BTC total, cashed in at $73,320 each, addin’ up to $46.15 billion and change. Hodlin’ tight like a mule on a corn crib. $MSTR $STRC and every other stock ticker that rolls off the tongue like riverboat dice.”
– Michael “Titan of Tor” Saylor, August 18 2025
Now, the rub: those 629,376 coins-worth north of 72 billion banker’s promises-appear as proud on paper as a peacock at Sunday service. Yet Strategy’s very own share price has slid down the banister greased with lard, shedding 13% in a month alone. So while Mr Saylor’s balance sheet doffs its cap with a $26 billion grin, the stock chart looks like a Sunday sermon after a three-day bender-plumb tuckered out below $370. 🫠
Across the wide Pacific, the Japanese outfit Metaplanet just jumped on the same hay wagon, flinging yen at BTC like rice at a wedding. I reckon imitation ain’t just flattery; it’s the surest sign the watermelons are ripe enough to thump.
Thus the river rolls on: billions in electrons counted like silver dollars; stock tickers jitterbug to the fiddle; and somewhere a printer keeps churnin’ out ceaseless bulletins labeled progress-while us plain folk just shuffle to the store wonderin’ if our nickels are still worth two cents. 😏
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2025-08-18 15:22