πŸ’° BTC to $85K?! 🀯

Ah, Bitcoin! That digital darling of the nouveau riche. Titan of Crypto, a name as grandiose as the claims he makes, predicts a breakout. Apparently, $85,700 is the magic number. One wonders if he consults a crystal ball or simply enjoys the sound of his own pronouncements. 🧐

Why $85,700 Is Important As Bitcoin Price Eyes Breakout

In an X post – how frightfully modern! – our Titan declares that $85,000 is pivotal for a bullish romp to $87,000. The RSI bullish divergence has, he says, “played out perfectly.” One can only assume this involves interpretive dance and the alignment of the planets. A daily close above $85,700, he asserts, will “significantly increase the probability.” Probability, darling, is the last refuge of those who lack certainty. πŸ€”

Furthermore, a “bullish crossover” is occurring. The MACD – sounds like a Scottish clan – has made a bullish cross on the 3-day chart. A momentum shift is underway, with BTC “eyeing a breakout.” One pictures Bitcoin peering through a monocle, contemplating its next audacious move. 🀣

Our Titan, in a previous fit of prophecy, predicted a rally to $137,000 by mid-year. A bullish pennant – sounds like a flag flown by particularly optimistic bulls – is forming. If this “plays out,” Bitcoin will reach a new all-time high. The suspense, darling, is simply unbearable! πŸ™„

Colin, another crypto oracle, also affirms a bullish outlook based on the global M2 supply. He foresees a new ATH, possibly in May, reaching a dizzying $144,000. The sheer audacity of these numbers! One almost expects them to be followed by a chorus of angels. πŸ˜‡

USDT Dominance Shows Rejection

Mikybull Crypto – these names are simply divine! – reveals that USDT dominance has shown a “sharp rejection.” A positive sign, apparently. He even suggests BTC could reach $99,000 soon. He advises watching daily trend reversals and positioning accordingly. As if one could predict the whims of the market with such precision. 😜

However, alas! Macro fundamentals threaten to derail this bullish extravaganza. Bitcoin, after reaching $86,000, dropped following reports of EU tariffs. And the US and China are squabbling over tariffs like children over sweets. The world, it seems, refuses to cooperate with our crypto fantasies. πŸ˜’

At the time of writing, Bitcoin is languishing at around $83,600, down over 2%. Such volatility! One can only hope it recovers before one’s champagne goes flat. πŸ₯‚

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2025-04-16 23:13