💰 BTC to $85K?! 🤯

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Ah, Bitcoin! That digital darling of the nouveau riche. Titan of Crypto, a name as grandiose as the claims he makes, predicts a breakout. Apparently, $85,700 is the magic number. One wonders if he consults a crystal ball or simply enjoys the sound of his own pronouncements. 🧐

Why $85,700 Is Important As Bitcoin Price Eyes Breakout

In an X post – how frightfully modern! – our Titan declares that $85,000 is pivotal for a bullish romp to $87,000. The RSI bullish divergence has, he says, “played out perfectly.” One can only assume this involves interpretive dance and the alignment of the planets. A daily close above $85,700, he asserts, will “significantly increase the probability.” Probability, darling, is the last refuge of those who lack certainty. 🤔

Furthermore, a “bullish crossover” is occurring. The MACD – sounds like a Scottish clan – has made a bullish cross on the 3-day chart. A momentum shift is underway, with BTC “eyeing a breakout.” One pictures Bitcoin peering through a monocle, contemplating its next audacious move. 🤣

Our Titan, in a previous fit of prophecy, predicted a rally to $137,000 by mid-year. A bullish pennant – sounds like a flag flown by particularly optimistic bulls – is forming. If this “plays out,” Bitcoin will reach a new all-time high. The suspense, darling, is simply unbearable! 🙄

Colin, another crypto oracle, also affirms a bullish outlook based on the global M2 supply. He foresees a new ATH, possibly in May, reaching a dizzying $144,000. The sheer audacity of these numbers! One almost expects them to be followed by a chorus of angels. 😇

USDT Dominance Shows Rejection

Mikybull Crypto – these names are simply divine! – reveals that USDT dominance has shown a “sharp rejection.” A positive sign, apparently. He even suggests BTC could reach $99,000 soon. He advises watching daily trend reversals and positioning accordingly. As if one could predict the whims of the market with such precision. 😜

However, alas! Macro fundamentals threaten to derail this bullish extravaganza. Bitcoin, after reaching $86,000, dropped following reports of EU tariffs. And the US and China are squabbling over tariffs like children over sweets. The world, it seems, refuses to cooperate with our crypto fantasies. 😒

At the time of writing, Bitcoin is languishing at around $83,600, down over 2%. Such volatility! One can only hope it recovers before one’s champagne goes flat. 🥂

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2025-04-16 23:13