Bukele vs. the IMF: How He Managed to Hoard Bitcoin Without Anyone Noticing! 🤔💰

Step in, weary traveler, to Latam Insights Encore—a realm where Latin America’s economy strolls hand-in-hand with crypto, as if the tango and the cha-cha morphed into one twisted routine. This week, we uncloak Nayib Bukele, President of El Salvador, still buying bitcoin with all the subtlety of a cat burglar in tap shoes—yet, somehow, compliant with the IMF’s anti-bitcoin hoarding commandments.

Latam Insights Encore: Bukele Outsmarted The IMF

I confess: until this week, I considered Bukele’s relationship to the IMF’s rules like a cat’s to a full glass of water—at best, perilous; at worst, expensive. But two delightfully absurd news bursts have swept away my doubts like a sudden rainstorm in the dry season.

The first tempest blew in courtesy of Rodrigo Valdes, keeper of Western Hemisphere secrets at the IMF, speaking during the sacred 2025 Spring Meetings. Valdes assured everyone—prophetic finger wag included—that El Salvador, under precise “performance criteria,” was NOT shopping for more bitcoin. (Honestly, it’s hard to keep a straight face imagining an IMF official policing a shopping cart.)

His prophecy echoed thus:

I can confirm that they continue to comply with their commitment of non-accumulation of bitcoin by the overall fiscal sector, which is the performance criteria that we have.

Of course, the agreement’s details remain as shrouded as a Kafka character’s innermost thoughts, but the official paperwork insists: “No new bitcoins in the portfolio! No issuing, guaranteeing, or jazz-handing any Bitcoin-backed bonds, tokens, or government IOUs.” 📝✨

The second harbinger of Bukelean wizardry arrived via Economy Minister Maria Luisa Hayem, who, with a smile matched only by a Cheshire cat who’s found the cream, readily admitted: despite these iron chains, the government’s accumulating bitcoin. Asked about her devotion to this task, she invoked the sacred presidential vow—the Bukelean Creed to keep gobbling crypto as an act of pure will.

When ministers bare their secrets and the IMF hands out approval stamps, one must ask: Has Bukele outmaneuvered the IMF? Has he tucked away bitcoin in some uncharted alley while whistling innocently? Or is it all misdirection, a magician’s flourish to distract from the real ledger entries? 🎩⚡

The alternative—risking catastrophic economic blowback for a few extra bitcoin—seems like a plot twist no one’s buying. No, our hero’s craftier than that. Bitcoin holds allure, certainly, but not enough to swap for the IMF’s $1.4 billion carrot and the wrath it holds.

So, let’s raise a glass! President Bukele, you’ve danced rings around the IMF. We may not know your steps, but the encore’s been unforgettable.💃💼

2025-05-06 08:06

Latam Insights Encore: Bukele Outsmarted The IMF

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